I'm
just back home after seeing three excellent panels at the Southbank
Centre's YA Literature Weekender. While all 3 were really enjoyable, the
one that got me thinking the most is Non Pratt chairing Sara Barnard
and brilliant vlogger/#feminisminYA organiser @helloiammariam on
feminism and friendship. In particular, Sara Barnard's heartfelt
recommendation of Feeling Sorry For Celia by Jaclyn Moriarty brought
home to me just why I love the book so much.
I think for me, Finding
Cassie Crazy is Moriarty's absolute best work, with Dreaming of Amelia
incredibly close behind. But there's no question that in her debut, she
tackles both the beginning and the end of different friendships
exquisitely. It's told in the form of letters between Elizabeth and her
new pen pal Christina, notes between Elizabeth and her mother, and memos
to Elizabeth from her subconscious, manifesting as imaginary
organisations like The Best Friends Club, The Take A Deep Breath And
Calm Down Society, and The Society of High School Runners Who Aren't
Very Good at Long-Distance Running But Would Be If They Just Trained. At
the start of the novel, Celia - Elizabeth's best friend since they were
little - disappears, and Elizabeth tells her new pen pal how worried
she is. Even though Celia gets in touch with her fairly quickly (to
reveal she's joined a circus!) it becomes clear as the novel goes on
that the friendship between Elizabeth and Celia is coming to an end. But
it's also clear that Elizabeth is finding a new good friend in the
shape of Christina. The way that the pair of friendships - one in its
last days, another in its infancy - is handled is really wonderful.
Sara's
own Beautiful Broken Things is another book that handles friendships
with great delicacy. In it, best friends Caddy and Rosie meet a third
girl, Suzanne. Suzanne is originally introduced to Caddy (the narrator)
by Rosie. But while Rosie and Suzanne met at school and quickly became
friends, Suzanne and Caddy become even closer - only for Suzanne's
hidden secrets to cause problems. This is a stunning read which deals
with so many hard-hitting themes brilliantly - trauma, the aftermath of
terrible events (which we seem to see less often in YA than the actual
terrible events), and jealousy. It also shows us how quickly a
friendship can develop, and how not all friendships are always positive.
And
of course, friendships change as time goes by - sometimes for better,
sometimes for worse. Reading the Murder Most Unladylike books by Robin
Stevens, there is a lot to love - they are superbly plotted mysteries in
a variety of great settings with a host of interesting characters. But
my absolute favourite thing about them has been seeing the way that
narrator Hazel and fellow detective Daisy's friendship has grown over
the five books so far, weathering the storms of Hazel's first attraction
to a boy and seeing Daisy develop more respect for Hazel as a detective
who is (nearly, in Daisy's view!) as good as she is.
I
think reading about all of these different types of friendships has
played a big part in helping me come to terms with things in my own
life. A few months ago, I was visiting my parents. I saw a guy I would
have at one point considered my best friend, but who has barely spoken
to me for years, and I was struggling to deal with this for quite a
while. Thinking about it, though, and talking to other people to help me
work through it, I've finally realised that the part of our lives when
we were best friends is over, and that he's moved on - and I think that,
finally, I have as well.
Looking
back at all of my really close relationships, there are some that ended
badly, some that trailed away, and a few that are still going. I am
grateful for the friendship shown to me by those last few - including
one person I've known for over 30 years and who, despite hundreds of
miles between us, is someone I trust completely and can share anything
with. And I am also grateful to those people I no longer see, because
each of them has made an impact on my life, and even looking back at one
or two from my uni years which I probably wouldn't class as having been
especially healthy, each of them has left me with some amazing
memories. Meanwhile, just as old friendships have fallen by the wayside
or drifted away, new ones have started, and existing distant friendships
have gotten much closer.
And
reading has reassured me that all of those things are natural and
normal. It has shown me that there are friendships which last a life
time, ones which burn brightly and briefly, and others in between. In
addition to the friendships mentioned, a few of my other favourites -
Verity and Maddie in Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein, so brave and
loyal and willing to do anything for each other. Platonic friends
Frances and Aled in Radio Silence by Alice Oseman, who support each
other so strongly that when they fall out it's painful to read. Mikey
and Jared, who used to fool around despite Mikey mainly identifying as
straight, in The Rest Of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness. Kaz and Ruby in Remix by Non Pratt, who have to cope with the discoveries they make about each othre over the course of a weekend but whose friendship is still so strong. And, of course, the quartet of girls at the centre of Candy Harper's Faith trilogy - I adore the way Faith and her friends help each other, argue, make up, and end up being better friends than ever.
As Mariam said, we need to see a huge variety of stories about friendship in all its forms - good friendships, bad friendships, ones which can be both. Ones between characters of the same gender orientation, or of different ones. Ones between people of similar backgrounds and of wildly different ones. The more the better!
As Mariam said, we need to see a huge variety of stories about friendship in all its forms - good friendships, bad friendships, ones which can be both. Ones between characters of the same gender orientation, or of different ones. Ones between people of similar backgrounds and of wildly different ones. The more the better!
What are your favourite stories about friendship? Leave me a comment or tweet me @yayeahyeah!
I loved The Rest Of Us Just Live Here. Have you read Jaclyn Moriarty's Colours Of Madeleine trilogy? It's a delicious fantasy in which two teenagers are writing to each other in different universes. One is here, in Cambridge. And in the other universe colours can kill you. Great fun!
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